


all the risks

by mariesperspective



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei Friendship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Slow Burn, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariesperspective/pseuds/mariesperspective
Summary: Except when he does, and he does it really hard, there’s no waking up. He's staying there, frozen in his chair.In the apparent future, even if it makes no sense. In an apartment he shares with Yamaguchi, too strangely familiar, and with an appointment with Hinata. No one can’t blame him if he starts to panic.Or: Tsukishima runs away and lies. Life decides to punish him in a strange way.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 103





	all the risks

**Author's Note:**

> my first work of my otp, and it's half angst, good job to me lmao.  
> Enjoy the ride!

It was a Tuesday afternoon after practice, second year of high school, when Yamaguchi confessed.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t see it coming, after all those years knowing each other, Tsukishima believed he had the ability to read his friend very well. He read every signal Yamaguchi sent his way, but he choosed to ignore it. 

But Yamaguchi has always been a man that walks ahead of him.

“Tsukki, um. I have something to say?” Yamaguchi told as they were heading to their houses. They weren’t talking about anything special before, just events of the day. However, it was clear to see that Yamaguchi had something with him, he really looked nervous and uneasy.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Tsukishima couldn’t help but sassy him, almost like a natural reflex. Maybe it wasn't the right time to do it, though, because his friend looked really constipated.

“I’m telling you! Don’t make fun of me,” Yamaguchi laughed nervously, then cleared his throat. “This is a serious matter, Tsukki. So, um, listen to me.”

And suddely, Tsukishima was starting to see where this was going. There were only a few things that made Yamaguchi that nervous after all; crushes and volleyball. And since the second one wasn’t a problem now, it had to be a crush.

He still remembers when Yamaguchi told him he liked Yachi. It didn’t surprise him, side glances and blushes did not hide anything, and his friend was too transparent. Before he could manage to be sincere, though, he was a stuttering mess, telling him the truth in Tsukishima’s room, after a movie’s night. He was not the one he was confessing to, and yet, he was so red Tsukishima laughed for a whole minute.

That crush lasted around one month.

 _I’m listening,_ he wanted to say in this moment, but wonders if that would sound rude. So, instead, he waited patiently. Even when Yamaguchi was taking a sweet time, and it seemed like night would come soon. He could see how Yamaguchi was fidgety, hands playing with his bag, and avoiding his gaze.

“It’s really difficult to say, I guess. I mean, you never know the outcome, but, uh. Hinata said I needed to be honest about my feelings since I’m becoming captain next year. Or something like that,” he laughed again, was it a nervous tic? He couldn’t tell.

Tsukishima just wanted him to be fast, so he could reach his house; a crush or whatever shouldn’t be that important. “I’m rambling, am I? God, this is embarrassing. But uh, yeah. I got this.”

Another minute passed, and Yamaguchi sighed, probably calming himself, as he spoke again, “I like you.”

It sounded like he was relieved to finally say it.

 _I like you? He likes me?_ Tsukishima repeated to himself in his mind. But what kind of like? There were different ways of liking someone, he knows; parentally speaking, brotherly speaking, friendship, _romantically_ speaking. He thought of parental like, when his mother sang him to sleep, when she gave him medicine when he was sick, when she supported him in his worst moments. He thought of brotherly like when Akiteru taught him volleyball, when he spoke with him after _years_ of avoiding each other, when they trained volleyball together again.

He thought of friendship with Yamaguchi, when he helped him improve in volleyball, when he helped him communicate.

 _Like._ It was obviously _romantically_ , was it? It couldn’t be something else. _He likes me romantically._

The sudden sound of a bird brought him back to the conversation, he didn’t realize he was so lost in his thoughts. It was not simple to tell him how he feels. Yamaguchi’s fingers were clumsily messing with each other in the meanwhile, as the sunlight was fading. Tsukishima was taking too much time to answer. His friend was anxious, obviously nervous. as he waited for him. _He wants an answer._

But what could he say?

It was a difficult thing to answer, _romance_ was really hard to answer. He avoided it for years, buried it in the back of his head. He didn’t wanted to think about it, and definitely not now, not romance _between men_.

“Yamaguchi, I’m sorry. I can’t,” he said, but he knew he was avoiding something, he knew Yamaguchi knew that he was avoiding something too; he looked confused.

“What do you mean with you can’t? You can’t what?” Yamaguchi’s hands were still when he said that, now with a frown. The previous relief now nowhere to be seen, as he searched for Tsukishima’s eyes for a hint.

“I meant what I said, and you know it. I can’t, two men can’t go out. Yamaguchi, this is getting uncomfortable, stop” but his mind said: _why are you running? Where are you going?_

“Two men can’t go out, you say?" Yamaguchi replies not even a second later, his eyes judging him very hard, and his voice's tone was very harsh, like all of the times Tsukishima pushed himself down, but somehow worse. Of course it wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Not a confirmation, not a good rejection either. But what else could he say?

“I know it’s hard to reply, but this is bullshit. You’re not even giving me a clear answer!”

He didn’t even hesitated to look him in the eyes this time. The previous anxiety hidden somewhere else. In the years of knowing him, he only saw his friend swearing when things were very complicated. He wasn’t innocent, he could say it as much as he wanted, but he believed Yamaguchi saved that for anger times. Now it was one of these time, apparently.

“Well, it' all I got. And you know I don’t like these kind of things” _but you’re running, aren’t you?_ His mind said again, as his head began to throb. _Bullshit,_ came in Yamaguchi’s voice this time. “We should really stop talking about this. I can ignore this tomorrow, I don’t care if you like men.”

His fingers starting to look for his headphones, for some way of relive, but he remembers how Hinata broke them at lunch. He really had to make him pay for that.

“I can't believe you,” his tone is louder, almost about to scream, his eyes even more judging than before. Tsukishima swears he can feel his blood becoming cold, and wonders if people around them can hear their conversation. Even if they can, he thinks, they wouldn’t understand, Tsukishima wasn’t saying almost anything, and he was almost whispering.

There’s a whole minute of silence after that. Then quiet, cold, angry eyes watching him, waiting for something else, for another answer. Though, nothing else came. “Is that your answer?”

Tsukishima nods, without looking at Yamaguchi. He doesn’t trust his voice in this moment, feels like he could burst all the reasons why _this_ is the good choice, not the one Yamaguchi wanted. Not confronting and talking about feelings, and being in a relationship with a man. Feels like he would scream at him: _We shouldn’t do this, we should never do this again, and you know it’s never going to work._

But he settles for that, for a simple nod, and silence. Simple is good sometimes.

Turns out simple isn’t good in this kind of times.

“You’re a fucking coward,” Is the last thing Yamaguchi says before he goes away, without turning back. Without saying goodbye, or waving, or _anything._ That’s how he knows he fucked it up. 

This is the good choice, he knows it, but as his phones rings, as he stays there, he can’t help but feel wrong, heart in his throat, hands sweaty, with no headphones to help him cease the strange feeling in his chest.

He forgot to call his mom.

* * *

**10:35 pm.**

from: Yamaguchi.

subject: sorry.

_I’m going to the shrines with Hinata tomorrow. I’ll also spend the weekend teachin’ him math._

_Sorry._

Yamaguchi never used punctuation, and weekends were for watching movies or studying together. But he guesses it’s not the right time for that, at least not after what happened. Yamaguchi has to think, and calm his head.

_I guess I can’t expect him to come that soon._

‘Why do _you_ say sorry?’ He wanted to reply. Even when he felt like his friend was wrong to confess, it’s not like he could help but feel what he felt. And Tsukishima was the asshole, he should be saying sorry instead. He settled with sending him an ‘ok’. But he's not sure if he should have replied either.

After that serious talk, he went home with that numb feeling in his blood. He said hello to his mother, and apologized for not replying, rejecting food in the way. His throat had a lump, and his stomach was a mess, eating would only make him throw up. Usually his mother would have push him to eat something, but this time something in his face must have given him away, because she let him go easily.

So he goes straight for a shower.

Once in his room, showered already, he gave himself time to think. He knew he was a coward since he was a child. He never faced the feelings or the problems, always ran away. Ran away from his insecurities, ran away from the sour feeling his brother’s lie left, ran and ran. He kept running away from volleyball too, even sometimes now.

Everything overwhelmed him.

And Yamaguchi had been his friend for years, so many years. His close and maybe only friend (that he can think of without feeling uncomfortable). One he could trust, be honest with. One he could speak easily, and laugh, and smile sometimes, too.

That's precisely why he wasn’t willing to let go of that, even if it meant that he had to _run away_ again. He would always be a coward if it meant that Yamaguchi would stay in his side, in the most steady form.

Friendship wouldn’t crumble easily, friendship stays and doesn’t change. Or at least, it has a more solid base.

They have made plans to share an apartment in the future, and help each other in their college or jobs. If Yamaguchi finds a girlfriend, or more, if he gets married, he would always be there. Supporting him.

Tsukishima didn’t want romance, but he would have a pet, and they could stay forever in that normality. His friendship would always stay the same.

There’s no way dating would work, there won’t be peace, or happiness, for Yamaguchi. His friends would not support his decision, even their families would reject that. After all, who accepts something so _out of the norm?_ It could not be worthy of all the sacrifices. A relationship like that would definitely crumble. And they will lost everything they once had.

He wasn’t willing to risk that.

A few days to think and meditate would do, then everything would be the same, and they could forget about today’s events.

That’s the last thing he says to himself, before he goes to sleep.

* * *

Except that when he wakes up, with a strange pain in his neck, he doesn't recognize the ceiling he first look at. This isn’t his room’s ceiling, he thinks, as he rubs his eyes. Or maybe his sight finally worsened to the point of not even able to see his own freaking ceiling.

The bed felt strange, too, didn't feel like his own bed. The mattress looking too blue, and the pillow was too hard. He tries to get his glasses from the drawer, to see what the hell is happening clearly, but when his hands move, he touches something else, solid, or more like, someone. Someone who is in the same bed as him.

He almost jumps at that, and kick that person in the back, who falls right in the ground, with a loud sound. That person swears, but then laugh. _What the hell is happening?_

“That’s a very sweet way to wake me up, Tsukki,” The person says, in a joking way, “good morning to you, too.” But _wait_ _,_ he knew that voice, he knew who used that nickname too, and there wasn’t anyone else he allowed to do that. Anyone else but Yamaguchi.

But he didn’t remember him staying in his home. The last thing he remembers in them having a big argument, where Yamaguchi confessed to him and he rejected him, or kind of. It couldn’t be Yamaguchi, then, could it? It would not make sense, they never shared a bed either, even in sleepovers.

Damn, he needed his glasses.

There wasn’t time to process what was happening, however, so absorb in his own thoughts, he couldn’t even answer that person. Suddenly he feels his glasses in his face, and now he could see everything clearly. Indeed this wasn’t his ceiling, nor his bed, nor his fucking room. Where the hell was this place? “Do you want breakfast? Do you want to take a shower? A kiss, maybe?” That person, right. He looked up to see a man standing, looking at him with an amusing face.

Now he knew it was definitely Yamaguchi, his freckles prominent, same smiley face. He could see him clearly. But he looked older, with shorter hair, more build, bigger and tanner. Like years passed by on him.

Tsukishima doesn't have time to think, again, when he feels Yamaguchi’s lips on him, so brief it feels like it didn’t happen at all. Then, older Yamaguchi laughs, “breakfast, then”, and before he could answer, he leaves, so fast, feeling like an illusion he was here just three seconds ago. Did not responding meant a kiss? And breakfast too, apparently.

This must be a dream, that makes more sense. One where he’s on alternative universe, and lives with Yamaguchi, and he _kisses him._

Too many details in the fucking dream, then.

Shaking his head, he decides to take his phone instead, where hopefully he would find some clue to this mind-blowing mess. Or an answer, a way of relief. Instead of that, he sees the date and he’s notices how he's almost four years in the future 

_Is he on the future or in a dream?_

He even receives a text from Hinata freaking Shouyo, whose contact name was, and allow him to panic a little: Hinata, with a fucking sun emoji. He didn't even have his contact in real life, f _or god's sake._

**10:46 pm.**

From: Hinata ☼

Subject: dinner!

_Lets meet at the usual place at 7!!!! ˆ-ˆ_

Of course Hinata uses emoji, and too many exclamations points to be orthography correct. Then again, who cares about orthography right now, in a dream? Tsukishima, it seems.

But why in the universe was Hinata texting him to meet was a mistery. They never texted in real life, and just talked to insult each other, all the time. In this dream they were that close they even had a _usual place._ Wait, what the hell does he mean by an usual place? He wants to ask Yamaguchi, but also doesn’t want to sound strange. 

Strange, in a dream. He really cared about the most stupid things.

So after washing his face, he walks around the apartment to search for Yamaguchi in the kitchen. Everywhere he looks, everything he sees seems strangely familiar in the apartment. There's a wall full of pictures of then, and furniture neatly tidy, everything clean. It's like his dream house. Except it isn't really his, more like _theirs._

He really feels like he knows this place, because everything and everywhere he looks, feels like a déjà vu.

He didn’t even wander around tje house, knew too well his way to the kitchen, where he found Yamaguchi, in an apron, cooking something.

Yamaguchi puts some tea, rice and eggs in the table in front of him. It smells nice, and looks nice too. He's not surprisedabout that, since he knows his friend knew how to cook. Alternative universe self or else, that looked realistic. His stomach growled, “So, did Hinata text you about the meet up? I can’t go, you know, because I have to work. But you should go.”

He figures if this is a dream, he might as well go with the flow of the conversation, trying to get some answers for him. “Um, do you know what he means by ‘the usual place’?” _Very eloquent,_ the first thing he says, and it’s a question about something stupid. Turns out it wasn’t that strange or stupid to ask for that _usual place_ , and it wasn’t that unusual either, because Yamaguchi just tells him the direction as if it was something common from him. It was too convenient for Tsukishina.

“I’ll text the direction for you, if you want,” Tsukishima nods, “he always forget you don’t know what he means by that,” he laughs again. Well, at least in this dream Yamaguchi is happy, and laughs a lot. He seems confident too, he's got a good posture, and his eyes never avoid him. “He will lend you the gift he bought for you in Brazil, the t-shirt.”

Suddenly, a strange memory with a smiling Yamaguchi, in a bar, telling him that Hinata came back and brought him a _pink_ t-shirt appears in his mind. Now the dream has memories too. Again, too many details in the dream, and really convenient. “I’m not receiving that thing," he says, as he eats, "He knows I hate showy, colored things, that’s why he bought it.”

Well, even in his dream Hinata was a pain in the ass. At least that seemed realistic enough to think this was real. Something that would definitely happen in the future, if it wasn’t for the _Hinata with a sun_ thing in his phone. And Yamaguchi kissing him the morning. But he could have imagined it, or invented it, after all, this is a dream and everything is possible.

Yamaguchi snickers, and puts his cup in the table, already empty. Tsukishima didn’t realize when his friend finished eating, him being only halfway. He was well dressed too, probably dressed himself in the time Kei was looking around the apartmen. He was thinking too much in the, again, _too detailed_ _dream._

Tsukishima watches how Yamaguchi gets close to him, and puts a hand in his cheek, stroking him very carefully. He also smiles very softly, “I know you don’t want to do it, but go meet him, please. I have to go now,” he kisses his forehead and proceeds, “see you later,” he waves as he walks away.

“Have a nice day,” he whispers, like a reflex to no one in particular. That little interaction almost short circuited his brain, apparently. Because he feels like he can’t function for a solid minute, too absorb in nothing. “What the hell was that?” he says, loud to the air.

He's so fucking confused.

How can this be a dream? He was eating, he was texting, he was even remembering, _god damnit_. He has an idea, remembering the movies. He has to pinch himself, that way he can wake up and stop having this strange dream.

Except when he does, and he does it really hard, there’s no waking up. He's staying there, frozen in his chair.

In the apparent future, even if it makes no sense. In an apartment he shares with Yamaguchi, too strangely familiar, and with an appointment with Hinata. No one can’t blame him if he starts to panic.

So he really stars to panic.

* * *

He doesn’t know how long he had been panicking, and when he sees the hour, he realizes he’s probably running late for the meeting with Hinata. Not that it matters, and he really does not care, but something in his mind bugs him enough that he starts to get anxious again.

If he’s really on the damn future, he needs answers, he needs to know what he’s been up to, what the hell is going on with him and Yamaguchi, what happened in all these years. Blame it on the curiosity, or blame it on his confused self, but he had a lot of questions, and Hinata was the only one who could answer right now.

It still does not make sense to him that he’s in the future, though. A long unescapable nightmare makes more sense, but unless he’s in some kind of coma, a dream wouldn’t have been this long and detailed. He’s never had a dream this long, hell, he didn’t even remember his last dream.

He decides to stop thinking, however, and goes to the bathroom to take a shower. There, he happens to catch his reflection in the mirror, so he looks at himself, like he hasn’t this morning when he woke up, like he hasn't in _years_.

His hair is longer now, and he looks older too, a face more mature. His glasses are different, bigger but more comfortable, even more stylish. He also feels taller, and wonders if that’s possible, or maybe it’s the perception the situation gives him.

Everything feels so strange and yet so familiar, his head throbs for so much information to process, _for so much of everything._ The last time he was this overwhelmed was when his brother lied to him. For a month or so, he almost didn’t talk, so lost in his head, so many things he couldn’t say, or couldn’t do. But even then, he knew how to proceed.

He couldn’t figure out what to do now.

Suddenly, he remembers how Yamaguchi always stayed by his side in the harder moments, without asking for anything. God, Yamaguchi.

He wonders how they ended up living together. That part does make sense, if he’s honest. But putting the pieces together, he also thinks they're in some kind or relationship now, or at least, close enough to kiss. 

But just yesterday he rejected him, and he still believes in the strong, solid reasons he had, when did he decide to let that go and _go out_ with his _male_ best friend?

Deciding to finally move, he starts to shower. When he’s finished showering, he search for clothes in what he believes is his and Yamaguchi’s room but he can’t find his clothes. He looks in a drawer, and first try what seems like Yamaguchi’s clothes, because even in the future, he’s longer and thinner, so it doesn’t fit him well. He gets the right clothes after a few wrong tries, and dress himself with whatever looks good and feels comfortable, not in the mood to think about anything else.

_They even shared a drawer, for god’s sake._

When he’s ready, he checks the hour. The usual place is thirty minutes walking, but he thinks Hinata can wait. So he grabs his phone, and the key for the apartment – which he first tries on the lock, he didn’t want to stay outside, in the middle of a street he probably didn’t know, thank you very much – and goes for the meeting.

Now outside, he’s really nervous, his hands are cold, and his heart is beating loud. His possibly future self, he thinks, as he walks, slowly. What awaits for him, years in the future, is here now.

At least they still live in Miyagi, that much he can tell, as he looks everywhere. The streets looking familiar. But they were still far away from his past – or present, or whatever – House. He recognizes this park, it’s twenty minutes away. He also recognizes the roads, same roads he always walk with Yamaguchi when they go outside. 

Same roads that made him realize his fellings. The ones he hid away.

Hinata calls him when he’s just around the block, taking him out of his thoughts, but he doesn’t answer. Instead he walks faster, and arrives, ten minutes late.

He sees Hinata waiting outside the restaurant for him. He's looking away, probably searching for him. So Tsukishima takes his time to watch him.

He's got his hands in his pocket, with a bag where he supposes it’s the damn pink t-shirt from Brazil. He’s taller too, he supposes everyone is taller now, they were still growing every year in high school. He’s also tanner, most likely from his trip to Brazil, and his hair is shorter.

But Tsukishima also notices more. How he looks radiant, stunning.

When Hinata spots him, with a frown in his face, he screams at him, same old loud voice, just a little bit deeper, “Tsukishima, you dumbass! You’re late and it’s freaking freezing out here! You didn’t even answer my call!”, but he doesn’t wait for a reply, and grabs Tsukishima’s arm, taking him inside the building.

He has a table reserved, so without letting him go, he walks inside the building, pulling him hard.

But when they sit, a waiter arrives and Hinata’s hands are still on his arm. He looks at both of them, and their arms. He blinks, and making a disgusted face, says “oh no, I’m not doing this.”

Both Hinata and Tsukishima are confused, they can’t figure out what he means by that, but that really sounded really rude, so Tsukishima replies, “excuse me?”

He’s probably using that obnoxious tone, the one he uses when he’s really mad and wants to mess people. 

“I’m not serving fucking homos,” he says, and it sounds like it’s the most normal thing in the world to say. He's almost even proud.

 _Fucking homos_ , his mind repeats. Now this looked like a nightmare. Like those ones he used to have in middle school, where a similiar asshole screamed nasty things at him and Yamaguchi. The worst part was always Yamaguchi, of course.

He didn't really cared about what people said about him, but hurting Yamaguchi was too fucking much.

In the moment, he can't focus. Ok, he’s not dating Hinata, and it’s wrong, it’s really fucking wrong to put your thoughts on your work, and assume things just by seeing some people interact. It’s too unprofessional, and he knows he has the right to complain, to call someone, the manager or whatever, but now the word _homo_ is repeating in his head, again and again, _and again_.

Of course homophobes were a thing even years in the future, of course people will always think this is wrong. Society is full of people who puts their opinions over yours, and don't respect you. He stays there, frozen in the chair, looking too uncomfortable, without saying anything. He wants to run and at the same time, he wants to say something, anything, like a joke, or a sassy reply.

But he can’t. He hopes his eyes convey something to Hinata.

Hinata laughs, taking Tsukishima out of his trance, and his laugh, instead of friendly, sounds defiant, challenging, “I forgot there were morons like this in Japan! In Brazil they were more open-minded. Man, this is really funny,” he stands up, and gets close to the waiter. “Didn’t know you could say that just by looking, is it a talent you have? Tsukishima is not my boyfriend, though, you got that wrong” he looks at him, then at Tsukishima, catching his uncomfortable position, probably thinking he has to save this situation since his friend didn’t seem to react.

Hinata puts a hand in the waiter’s shoulder, making him flinch, “you should run, before I make you a homo with my eyes. Run!” and he snickers so loud that everyone in the restaurant look at them. Tsukishima really wants to hide now, shrinking in the chair. It’s difficult to hide, however, when he’s almost two meters tall.

Hinata smiles at him, reassuring.

The waiter is shocked for the first minute, but once he comes back of hia toughts, he looks between embarassed and angry, so red his face looks like blood. He does not wait, however, and walks away as fast as possible, muttering something to the air, without looking back.

For the first time, in the years knowing Hinata, he doesn’t feel like pissing him off. He's actually thankful.

“I will talk with the manager after this, my usual place can’t be ruined by some ignorant asshole. Don’t you think so, Tsukishima?” Hinata says as he sits again in his chair. Tsukishima doesn't answer, and there’s an uncomfortable silence between them, before and after another waiter serves them food. 

Hinata speaks after five minutes. "You know,” Hinata starts, while eating, “I’m dating Tobio now. We started dating when I came back from Brazil."

Well, that's a surprise. He's honestly surprised.

Tsukishima decides to look at him, examining, waiting for him to go on. But he realizes Hinata is waiting for an answer after what it looks like a coming out. Instead, Tsukishima asks, “you don’t care about what people say or think about your relationship?” 

Hinata hums, eating a piece of meat, before answering. “It’s not that I don’t care. I would lie to you if I said that,” he swallows, “but I decided to ignore things like that. I know there’s always going to be people out there who don’t support us. But the people I care about do support us. And most importantly,” a big smile appears in his face, looking relaxed, “I’m happy, and Tobio is happy. Nothing else matters. Don’t you think so?”

Tsukishima wants to agree. But he keeps and keeps thinking about the same old things. It seems impossible for him to stop thinking about society, how hard is a same-sex relationship in Japan. How hars it is to talk about that with family, or with his friends.

He’s too afraid that something could go wrong if he starts being honest with everyone, with _himself._

“I'm afraid” he blurts out. All of the questions he had never coming out as he planned. He doesn't know where all of this honesty is coming from. But he hopes Hinata can understand where he's going.

Luckily for him, Hinata must know how to read between the lines now, because he looks deeply at him. “Did you fight with Yamaguchi recently? Something happened?” He finished eating, so now he focuses on him.Tsukishima shakes his head as an answer, “Everyone is afraid of something. Even I am. But I think you should focus on being happy instead. Everything else can go to hell.”

Tsukishima knows that, really, in theory. But practice is a lot harder. Life has never been that simple for him, or al least, he can’t go ignoring everything around him, like Hinata or Kageyama, just for the sake of being happy.

He frowns deeply, but doesn’t say anything else.

Hinata drinks from his glass and looks at him again. Whatever he saw in his face, be it discomfort or pain, he decides change the topic, because the next thing he says is, “in other news, did you now I’m in the Adlers now?”

The sudden change of topic helps him relax, someway, after that deep and heavy talk.

Talking with Hinata now, he realizes, is easier, and he really enjoys his company. Of course there’s arguments now and then, but their atmosphere is completely different from what it used to be in high school.

He also manages to get answers for the questions in his head

First, Yamaguchi and he have been together since high school, which came as a surprise, since he remembers, _again_ , how he rejected him just yesterday, in _high school._ They moved together after graduating, and stayed in Miyagi for college. They’re in their second year of college now.

Second, Tsukishima still plays volleyball. He's on second division, and a regular player in a team. At least he's honest about his not so secret passion

Hinata seems to know all of that because Yamaguchi kept texting him everything, but Tsukishima never answered a text.

 _Well, at least that sounds like me,_ he thinks.

And last, Hinata went to South America for two years after graduating, and he trained a lot in Argentina and Brazil. When he came back, he talked things with Kageyama.They weren’t together before, high school was a ride, and they were focused in other things. But when he came back, the feelings hit them like a train, and the first thing they did was kiss.

Of course, they were a mess after that, but they talked.

They’ve been together for almost half a year. But it wasn’t easy at first, Hinata admits, both planned to be professional players for a long time, and they knew that kind of relationship could ruin everything. _“But we talked a lot, Tsukishima. Communication is the key,”_ he said as he was eating the dessert, although he didn’t gave him more details.

When they finished talking, it was nine o’clock. Time never flied that fast talking with someone that wasn’t Yamaguchi before.

It makes him analyze the relationship he has with the present – or past, God, time was a difficult matter – Hinata. They only insult each other, but he never gave the time to really talk with him.

Maybe he should try, and listen, and change that.

He receives a text from Yamaguchi when he is outside the restaurant, waiting for Hinata. Hinata stayed, possibly talking about the rude waiter with the manager.

The text simply said: _I’ll be home in an hour, bring me dessert?_ But somehow, it made his heart race with anticipation. That didn’t go unnoticed by Hinata, who, once he came back, gave him a thumbs up, and winked at him.

The last thing Hinata says is, “Do yourself a favor, Tsukishima. Don’t overthink, for once in your life, think about your happiness first.” And with that, they start to walk to their homes.

Tsukishima stays in silence.

* * *

It’s not that simple for him, he allows himself to think once he arrives in the apartment and is alone, to let go and be happy. Apart for this sudden future mess, he has always struggled with messy thoughts. And despites when he looks like he doesn’t care about things, he does care, deeply, and his insecurities always got the worst of him.

He knows it can’t be healthy how he bottles up all inside of him, instead of crying or screaming, or talking with someone.

But he believed no one but his mom knew about how much he ran away, or how much everything felt like a train of emotions for him, and maybe his brother, once he started talking with him again. Tsukishima supposes the façade goes away when he’s in his comfort zone, which happen to be his house.

He always wonders if Yamaguchi can see it, too.

It’s not fair for Yamaguchi, his past, present or future self, how he can’t give him anything in return for years of patience and support. Yamaguchi is an amazing person, Tsukishima knows that. Can he really make him happy like that? Is his future self that willing to risk anything for this relationship? It still does not get to him how his future self decided to accept.

His phones suddenly rings. It’s Akiteru, who screams at the phone when he answers, “Kei! Don’t forget! Lunch with mom tomorrow!” With his loud voice, Tsukishima remembers why he never answers the phone unless it’s his mom or Yamaguchi, who seem like the only reasonable people to speak on a call.

 _Why does he has plans with everyone now?_ Apparently, his future self is a very busy and social man.

“You could have texted me that? It wasn’t necessary to call,” Tsukishima answers, with a sharp voice.

“You never answer my text! Honestly I’m surprised you answered this call. Are you ok, little brother?”

“I’m fine. Or whatever. Don’t shout anymore,” he hesitates. He can get answers from him too, if he goes, so after a second he says, “I’ll be going with Yamaguchi. Is that ok?”

“Of course it is, little brother!” there’s a loud sound in the distance, of what seems like glass breaking. “Uh-uh, trouble in paradise. I have to go, see you and Tadashi tomorrow!” and he hang up.

So he still talks with his brother, and he also meets with his mother for lunch. It's not strange, either, that he’s going with Yamaguchi. He really wants to go now, so he could get more answers from his brother. He needs to talk with, after all, like Hinata said, _communication is the key._

God, he must be very desperate if he hears advice from Hinata, and it really makes sense.

* * *

Yamaguchi arrives at ten o’clock, with beers and cake, as he says “I’m home!”

The domestic mood hits him like a punch, now, even more when his reflex automatically says “welcome back” as if it was the most normal thing to do. Well, it is if they’ve been living together for two years or more, _even more,_ if they're in a relationship now.

Yamaguchi puts the bag in the table, and take out his coat, sighing.

It suddenly comes to Tsukishima, when he sees him, how after all the damn questions he had, he didn’t think of asking Yamaguchi a damn thing. He’s the one who he needs to communicate the most, the one who he thinks about the most, yet he never really thought of _talking with him._

It’s really not fair to Yamaguchi.

“I know you wouldn’t bring me dessert, so I bought some in the way home. Strawberry cake for two,” his words sound like a song, and maybe he’s poetically thinking, but he really feels like Yamaguchi is singing, and radiating a different light. His Yamaguchi never smiled or radiated like that.

_It’s really not fair._

Yamaguchi walks at him, and he remembers this morning’s PDA. God, PDA, if they’re a couple, they must constantly kiss, hug and they must – he’s sure he’s making a weird face when Yamaguchi gets too close, because he only kiss his head and laughs. Tsukishima silently thanks whatever deity is out there for a compressive _boyfriend?_ It really sounded so weird.

“Are you up for a movies and beer night?”

He has a lot of things to say to him. Tsukishima nods.

“First, Akiteru called, tomorrow is lunch’s day with mom,” he hesitates then, but follows, “and I said I was coming with you. If it doesn’t bother you.”

“Um, Tsukki, you know what happened last time,” Tsukishima doesn’t really knows, “I don’t really want to pretend again, you know, that I’m just your friend…”

So he still hasn’t come out to his family in the future. And they had a problem so big it made Yamaguchi decide not to go again to his house to pretend. Good, then, if he has something to loose, and can’t do it with his present self, then he might as well do it now. He’s really freaked out, about coming out to his family, though. “Then we don’t need to pretend anymore.”

Yamaguchi’s looks at him, surprised, and his eyes light up more than anytime he’s ever seen in his life, in the moment he hears that.

He knows what Tsukishima is talking about.

A smile so big appears in his face, Tsukishima is sure his mouth might tear up, and this time, he doesn’t care about his previous weird face, because he jumps at him and hugs him with all his force. “God, Kei. Are you really sure about this? We don't need to do this, I can wait.”

Now Tsukishima feels bad. He’s coming out for all the wrong, egoistic, reasons. Not because he’s a good person, not because of love.

He holds Yamaguchi close, however, ignoring all those feelings. The hug feels too calming. When was the last he hugged someone? Years ago, when an uncle died, and his mom needed support, he remembers. But recently? He doesn’t remember hugging anyone who wasn’t his mom. His body relax, and everything goes away, his problems, his thoughts, his problematic feelings. “Yes,” he whispers as an answer.

Turns out PDA isn’t that bad.

And Tsukishima reaffirms the warm feeling again, with Yamaguchi, later. Between packs of cakes and blankets, his head in his shoulder and already fallen asleep.

They didn’t talk, again, and he didn’t asked a damn thing.

But everything feels at place, and his mind is quiet, calm, serene. No train of thoughts, no anxiety. If this is how it feels to be with Yamaguchi in the future, he gets why his future self decided that. But _is it worth the risks?_ he thinks. And for the first time in what it feels like years, even with the pain and insecurities, he feels like he could almost say yes.

* * *

The next day, lunch time comes faster than he thought.

They arrived thirty minutes before the established time, and are now standing in front of his – or his mom’s – door. It’s the weirdest feeling he’s had, and that’s a lot to say, since he’s had a lot of weird feeling these two days.

It’s weird because this is his present house, but at the same time, is not _his_ house now. And they’re seeing his family, but his _future_ family.

There’s a lot of mixed feelings inside of him.

On the other hand, Tsukshima notices how Yamaguchi is a nervous mess. His hands are sweaty – he knows that because they are holding hands. PDA being the last problem now – and he looks like he’s about to puke. He’s nervous too, even when this is not _his_ problem, but he needs to calm Yamaguchi, so he says “it’s going to be alright.”

He does not really know that, he coul be lying. Everything could go either really wrong or really good. He hopes it's the last one.

He doesn’t have time to think about it when the door is opening, big loud.

They didn’t knock, so someone must have seen them already. The one who appears is Akiteru, who greets them, taking Yamaguchi in a big, crushing hug, like he hasn’t seen him in years.

He didn't noticed their hand holding, and if if he did, he doesn't say anything.

Yamaguchi hugs him back, tightly. He can tell he’s afraid of something, and it makes sense.

Tsukishima looks at his brother, after the hug, defiant, like telling him with his eyes _come if you dare._ But Akiteru only laughs, and shrugs, deciding to kiss his cheek instead, probably just to bother him.

“Come inside! Kei, Tadashi! Mom’s in the kitchen!” He’s screaming again, like he did in the phone. Tsukishima wants to rolls his eyes. And he does, Yamaguchi giggles in response.

When they enter the house, their hands are not intertwined, but Tsukishima wants to do something to calm him, or rather, them, down. He takes a time to look at Yamaguchi, and sees how he hasn’t lost the old habit of messing with his fingers when he’s nervous.

The same he did just the day before, when he confessed.

The difference is that Tsukishima can help him, he really wants to do something for the first time in years, a way to pay back all he did for him. Even a little gesture works, he thinks. So he takes Yamaguchi's hands with his hand, and squeezes, but without changing his stern expression. “It’s ok. We got this.”

Those words seem like a reassurance not only for Yamaguchi, but for him too. If he’s coming to terms with his own feelings, and this dream, or time travel, or a fucking coma, is helping him, then he might as well take the opportunity to do something, to change his life even a little. And if something goes wrong, well, he could come back to his shell.

No, not this time, he needs to get out. He wants to get out.

Before they can move, though, Akiteru’s voice break the moment apart, “I knew you were in something. I knew it since day one.”

He feels how Yamaguchi stands still, his own blood running cold. He frozes just like in the restaurant, with the moron waiter, but this time he doesn’t feel like he can run, or be saved by someone. However, instead of getting mad or judge them, Akiteru just hugs them both tightly, “Was it the reason why you were so nervous? It does not matter to me who you choose to love. I’m happy if you’re happy, guys.”

They stay there for what it feels like minutes, and only move when his mom calls for lunch.

Well, Tsukishima knew Akiteru wouldn’t be the hardest part. The hardest part was his mom.

He couldn’t be honest with her when he felt sad after his parents’ divorce, he couldn’t be honest when he felt like crawling in a hole when his brother lied, and he couldn’t be honest when he realized he _likes man._

His mother always watched him from afar, giving him silent support, when he needed the most.But they didn’t communicate. _Communication is the key_ , came in Hinata’s voice again. He really managed to say a phrase that stayed in his mind longer than these days's worries.

Tsukishima needed to tell his mom what he truly is, and what could honestly make him happy, for once in his life.

He waited till they ended eating, and the casual conversation was over. His heart was beating so loud he swears he’s close to a cardiac arrest. “Mom, I have to tell you something,” a hand made his way to his hand, Yamaguchi looks at him, smiling sweetly, _“we_ need to tell you something.”

His mother only looks at him, expecting, waiting. Something tells him that she knows, that she always knew, but always waited for him to be honest with himself.

“We’re dating.” And there’s a million other things he could say, like how he realized his feelings, or how much he wanted to tell her in middle school, but feared he would be judge for being too young to know. How all of his classmates made fun of a boy for liking pink things, and that made him think, how even if he didn’t care about others, their thoughts crawled into his skin.

A million things, a lot of things.

Yamaguchi’s hand squeezes his. That seems to bring him back to reality. He didn’t even realized he closed his eyes, but knows he fears when he opens them, he would see a very disappointed look, or worse, his mother crying of sadness because his son couldn’t be fucking _normal._

Because he couldn’t like girls, and marry, and have one hundred kids. Well, the last part wasn’t that realistic, but in that precise moments, who cared about realistic things? He’s in the damn future, coming out of the closet. None of these things seems realistic anymore.

He’s been waiting a long time, and his mom still doesn’t answer, so he starts to panic. He probably messed it up, now he can’t see her anymore, he can’t come back to this house, his house. He can’t make Yamaguchi happy, and he certainly can’t be happy himself–

But a pair of arms surrounds them once again. This time, coming from his mother, who’s also crying. But along with the crying, there’s also a smile. She has a proud look, not a disappointed look. “You’re so brave, both of you. I’m so proud. Akiteru!”

His brother answers, "I'm here" softlt, and he hears his voice very close. Apparently, he was in the hug too, but Tsukishima didn’t noticed it.

They separate, and Tsukishima feels a little bit dissapointed. But Yamaguchi's hand squeezes, so he smiles.

“We should make sekihan, so they can take it to their apartments. Don't you think so, Akiteru?"

And she goes to the kitchen, followed by Yamaguchi, who ran away, with his eyes red, taking the dishes. _He cried too_ , he thinks.

There were tears a lot of tears, but happiness tears. 

He could do it, and it went really _g_ _ood._ And instead of feeling sad, he just feels embarassed, but happy.

Akiteru looks at him, “I never thought you would be honest about how you feel,” he speaks, looking at him, “You’ve really gotten big, Kei," he looks at him, and then looks at the kitchen, "I can promise you everything would be always nice, but we will always be here for you two.” He smiles, and goes to the kitchen too.

The rest of the day consist of embarrassing, long childhood memories. Yamaguchi laughs a lot, Tsukishima is ashamed of a past he didn’t even lived.

Everything ia really fine.

* * *

Later, when they’re walking home, hand in hand, as the sun hides in the distance, Yamaguchi is first to speak. “I’m really happy,” his voice is soft when he says that, and he looks bright. Brighter than yesterday, brighter than ever. “I’m grateful you did such a brave thing for us.”

There’s a pause, he stops walking, looking deeply at him. There’s no smile this time, buy his eyes convey everything. He looks away, like embarrassed to say this, but Tsukishima knows better that he’s just trying to find the right words, “I’m grateful you did this for you.”

Just one look and he knows Yamaguchi is about to cry, but he’s holding up. It’s not the sad kind of crying, he notices; Yamaguchi feels moved. Tsukishima’s heart beats loud, realizing how beautiful Yamaguchi looks under afternoon sun, with pink cheeks and glassy, proud, eyes.

“I love you, Kei” and this time, his voice sound full of affect.

Tsukishima feels warm inside.

It’s kind of ironic, he feels, how the same scenery, in the same place he ran away from his feelings just a few days ago, is the one who makes him come in terms with himself. Yamaguchi is being honest and clean with Tsukishima again.

And Tsukishima is not running away anymore.

Everything that happened these two days, be it a dream, or an illusion, or time travel –even when the last thing didn’t, again, make sense – has made him really think about the possibilities, for once, of being honest with himself and the world. Even if all of this is fake, a sort of sense of security stays in him. Like knowing that even if something goes wrong, he’d have his friends and his family.

He’d have Yamaguchi by his side.

Friendship wouldn’t crumb, friendship stays and doesn’t change, he still feels that. But their _romantic_ relationship is not easy to crumble either, now he knows. They’re not only a couple, they’re best friend, and partners.

There’s something more reassuring and solid, more important than any opinion or norm out there.

Tsukishima doesn’t answer to his love words, then. He knows he can’t say those three words in this moment, and it really doesn’t belong to his present self. Instead he moves closer to Yamaguchi, and with the bravery left after coming out, he puts his hand in Yamaguchi’s face, caressing his cheek, and trying to convey everything he’s feeling with his gaze.

Security, determination, company, all of this good and reassuring feelings.

Yamaguchi, future, or present self, deserves this. But most importantly, Tsukishima himself deserves this. Deserves to let go and be free, be happy with the only person he’s ever romantically loved in his short live.

And when he goes to sleep that night, Yamaguchi by his side, he feels so over the cloud, his body is like floating. For the first time in his life, he’s being honest with himself, and he’s ready to risk everything for the sake of that feeling.

* * *

The next day, when he wakes up, his whole body hurts. Somehow, this bed feels little, more soft. The mattress is brown now, and he’s alone. Then it gets to him.

He stands up at full force, feeling dizzy for the fast and sudden movement. He takes his glasses, and messily puts them on, grabbing also his phone to check the date: Saturday morning, the present.

 _God, he woke up._ He’s back from the fucking strange dream or whatever, it doesn’t matter. But he’s back in the present! He wants to run, and jump, do something. He realizes then that he can’t really do that, he just woke up from the longest, strangest dream in his life, and he needs to think.

_It really was a strange experience._

Everything hits him at once. Hinata, his family, Yamaguchi. Damn, they had an argument just yesterday. But it feels like it was years ago, when the vivid dream is so present in his mind, like a memory.

Tsukishima feels different now. So different.

And it’s weird, because the change came from what he supposes was a dream, or a fantastical experience. Yet it got so deep in his being, like almost anything he ever felt before. He’s determined now, he knows what to do. He has to fix his yesterday’s mistake, and talk things with Yamaguchi, talk about his real feelings.

He said he wasn’t going to run away anymore, but he needed time too. So he decides his talk would be on Monday, when he gets his shit together.

He can’t do a sudden change either.

So he first goes with his mother. Already finding her eating breakfast. He must really look messy, after all, he didn’t dress, or washed his face, because his mother smirks, leaving the cup in the table. “Good morning, sleepyhead. Slept well?”

He stands there, not replying to her ‘good morning’ greeting. Instead, he takes a deep breath and clenches his fists. “Mom. I’m gay.”

His mother blinks, and blinks, and blinks. But then she smiles, and looks at him the same way he looked at him in the dream, or the future –for god’s sake, how hard was to think about the time in that situation– . “Well, then. Hi gay, I’m mum,” and she laughs, taking a sip from her cup.

Easy as that, she stands up and hugs him tight. This time, he’s ready, and he knows how to respond. He hugs tightly too, smiling in her shoulder. So she made a joke, and she’s not mad. She’s hugging him, she’s not disappointed; she supports him. Tsukishima kind of wants to cry. _Thank fucking god._

He really feels like he can do anything in this moment, now that the hardest part is done.

He’s still afraid of things, but he is also determined, and feels like nothing can stop that.

* * *

Monday morning came faster than he thought.

In all honesty, he feels really nervous, even when he knows nothing worse can happen. He just needs to fix things, communicate, makes things better. _Fuck_ , he’s probably going to think about communication for the rest of his fucking life, he kind of wants to kick and thank Hinata for that.

The thing is, he’s afraid that Yamaguchi could be so mad he doesn’t want to talk with him for the rest of his life. And that’s really worse.

With that thoughts, he walks and arrives school alone – of course, Yamaguchi is mad. What did he expect?–. However, the first person he sees is not Yamaguchi, but Hinata instead.

Hinata, who is shorter, and he believes, more immature, in the present. He makes a fighting pose when he sees him, Tsukishima must have been staring too much that Hinata became aware. “What are you looking at, Stingyshima?” he says, hiding behind his locker’s door. Same, usual, annoying Hinata, Tsukishima sighs.

 _You have to calm down, Kei, see the situation differently,_ he thinks, as he fixes his glasses, and answers, holding back a bad response, “Nothing. Good morning, shrimp.”

Hinata just looks at him, suspicious, but beams when he realizes Tsukishima is being honestly polite and nice, and is not making fun of him. Tsukishima finds amusing how Hinata can change moods that easily. “Good morning, Tsukishima!” and with a smile, he starts to talk with him about his weekend, even when Tsukishima didn’t asked.

But Tsukishima finds he really never looked or listened at Hinata deeply, because even after several minutes of rambling, rather than being mad or bothered, like he has always been in the past, he actually is enjoying his company, just like he did in the dream. Though he just nods and reply occasionally.

Now it makes kind of sense why they’re friends in the future.

“Have you seen Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima says when they’re close to their classrooms, or at least, his classroom. Hinata stiffs a little, and frowns.

“I thought you two were fighting. That’s what Yamaguchi told me in the shrine, that and how much of an asshole you are. But he didn’t gave me more details.” Tsukishima can’t find himself mad at Hinata after the statement, because he knows it’s true, and Yamaguchi himself said that.

But he does think about how Yamaguchi told Hinata, in some sort of way, about their argument.

“I thinks he’s in the classroom, he arrived earlier. But please don’t fight anymore, Tsukishima-kun. I fought with Kageyama the other day, I don’t like how it feels. ”

Hinata pouts, and Tsukishima looks at him, grabbing his head and squeezing, but not enough to hurt him. “You have to communicate with the King, Hinata. Communication is the key,” he says, repeating the same advice he heard from him in that still vivid and weird dream.

But he doesn't say another word, that’s enough talking with Hinata. He needs to find Yamaguchi now. “Thanks, by the way. See you later.” And without waiting for an answer, or looking back, he walks to his classroom.

Yamaguchi is already in his seat when he enters. Present Yamaguchi, shorter, with longer hair.

He looks at Tsukishima, two seconds, and frowns, looking away. He can’t blame him for that look, thought, he would be mad at him too. But he feels at calm, even like that. After a whole weekend thinking about him, seeing him in front of him, makes him feel really calm, forgetting the awkward situation.

But there’s no time for talking, the bell rings, and the teacher enters the classroom, taking him away of his thoughts.

There would be time to talk with Yamaguchi after class.

Except there is no time for that. Yamaguchi runs away as fast as he can, and avoids him as much as he can. He ends up eating food with Hinata, who is strangely happy to see him being nice again, there’s also Kageyama, but he ignores him most of the time.

He believed Yamaguchi was with Yachi, because he can’t see him close by but he was him running to her earlier.

The same thing happens all day, too. In practice Yamaguchi blatantly avoids him, and all of his teammates are confused. Tsukishima ignores him too, and focuses in practicing, so no one say a thing about them. But when practice ends, Tsukishima is not going to let Yamaguchi run away anymore.

As ironic as it sounds, he won’t let anyone run away anymore. So he grabs Yamaguchi by the wrist once he finds him ready to go again, and speaks, “Yamaguchi, we need to talk.”

At first, Yamaguchi looks at him weirdly, but after a minute, he nods. He must be tired of bullshitting and running, and must think nothing can get worse, just like him. “Ok, then. On the way home.”

So they walk together in silence for a few minutes. Tsukishima is mastering the courage to tell him something, suddenly getting very tongue tied. He can’t think of what to say first, in the very moment, his thoughts are running wild again. He looks at Yamaguchi, who is very quiet and avoiding his gaze. “Cut the crap and talk, Tsukishima.”

Yamaguchi says, with a sharp tone. He’s not surprised he didn’t call his him by his nickname. It’s funny how tables have turn in the spare of only a weekend, he thinks.

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing Tsukishima can say.

“You’re sorry? About what part?” he’s not speaking loud, like last time, but he sounds very mad, “The part when you told me you couldn’t, because I quote: two men can’t? Or when you told me to forget about this? Sorry is not going to fix this,” he gestures vaguely with his hands, “mess.”

Tsukishima sighs, and closes his eyes. He also starts to play with his fingers, feeling too anxious. But he needs to do this, he thinks to himself. “Yeah. I know. But you need to know that I’m sorry. For being an asshole about the whole thing. For not being honest.”

“Yeah?” Yamaguchi replies. He’s probably dubious, “What made you change your mind?”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Tsukishima says, finally opening his eyes. He finds Yamaguchi staring at him, but he does not seem mad anymore. Just confused. “I said a lot of bullshit that I didn’t mean. But if I’m being honest with you, I was afraid. I'm still afraid.”

Yamaguchi shakes his head, “You think I wasn't afraid? Because I was. But it didn’t stop me.”

“Yamaguchi, you’re the bravest person I know. And I already told you this on our first year, but you’re very cool. On the other side, I’m really pathetic. I have this train of thoughts, bad thoughts, and I always run away from my feelings, but,” Tsukishima clear his throat, and sighs deeply, then says, “I don’t really want to run anymore.”

So before Yamaguchi can say something, Tsukishima grabs his face with his hands, and kisses him. It’s clumsy, and he did it with so much force his lips hurts. They’re also in the middle of the street, and people probably can see them, but all he can think about now is how warm and soft Yamaguchi’s lips are. How nice it feels in his heart, even when the kiss is messy, and Yamaguchi stays frozen in place.

When they break the kiss, Yamaguchi stares at him again. His cheeks are pink, and Tsukishima finds that really cute. Tsukishima knows his cheeks are pink too, but he really doesn’t care, as he waits for Yamaguchi.

After what feels like minutes, Yamaguchi smiles. And take his hands, and kisses him again. And again, and again, until, their lips are numb, and the night arrives, so his hands are cold for the sudden breeze.

He’s finally doing the right thing. Taking the right choice, Yamaguchi’s choice. Confronting and talking about feelings. He’s kissing him. And he knows this is only the first step of a long, heavy and maybe difficult life. But he’s got his mum, his brother, his family, even Hinata.

He’s got Yamaguchi by his side.

He willing to take all the risks, and confront everything for that happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made mistakes.  
> This really took me longer than I thought, lol. So, if you've reached this far, please leave a comment or a kudo. I would really appreciate it  
> All feedback is welcome :D!


End file.
